From top (l-r): A cultural show at Tam-awan Village; A bulol watches over the whole village; Anton and Wayne pick strawberries; Red luscious strawberries
Friday, April 28, 2006
Summer Part 2
From top (l-r): A cultural show at Tam-awan Village; A bulol watches over the whole village; Anton and Wayne pick strawberries; Red luscious strawberries
Monday, April 17, 2006
Hundred Memories
Hundred Islands was the beach stop for me and my friends this year (first of many many stops hopefully).
I was with R., I., and J.
We left for Pangasinan on Friday. We sorta miscalculated the hours on the trip, we left at 12 m.n. and thought we'd arrive there at 5:30 a.m. But nope, we were there at 3:30 a.m.!
I. had said that some staff of Mayor Braganza had reserved a room for us but when we were there and sought somebody named "Thelma", Marjorie, the hotel staff, said she didn't know her.(Turns out later on that Thelma was with the boat ticketing office).
"Try Louise,"I told Isao. (Hehehe).
It took a little while before we could find a substitute room. Rey was helpful enough to use the room with 14 (!) beds, which we aptly called "the dorm". Since we arrived there very early, we decided to sleep a little bit and woke up at around 8 a.m. If it weren't for the noisy Koreans, we would have slept the whole day.
First Island
After breakfast, we set out to check out our first island: Marcos Island. It was a medium sized island with a dash of shoreline. Jann brought banig so that's where we sat and placed our things.
All we did there was drink beer, eat, sunbathe, eat again, sunbathe again until we met Claire, a four-year old Ilocana lovinlgy called "Basang."
Claire
You can tell from the color of Claire’s skin that she has spent half a day under the sun and she was obviously having fun. She was oblivious to our arrival. Just a couple of meters away from the shoreline, where the level was not even knee-deep, Claire would “dive” and flap her little feet. And then she would emerge, parting her hair that has covered part of her face, breathe deep and dive again.
Her father, J.R., striked up a conversation with our group and offered Claire’s floater. It was small but enough to carry our bodyweight. It was for babies actually. That’s when we asked Claire’s name. Of course, the little girl didn’t mind us. She was fine having fun by herself.
Claire had four instant yayas and yayo with us. At one point, I asked her if she wanted some sunoil on her which, to my surprise, she liked, never mind if the oil wouldn’t help her much since her skin was already dark.
After lunch, that’s when Claire really opened up. She was pulling a sea grass so I pulled my pamangkin tricks and pretended that it was hair. Placed the seagrass on her head and said it was such a beautiful and long hair to have on her head. She liked it. And reciprocated. She asked that I kneel down so she could put the seagrass and on my head. When she did, I gamely posed and asked her to pretend she was having my picture taken.
“Picture! Picture!” I said.
“Click!” she responded, quickly opening up both her palms as if to immitate a camera’s flashbulb.
(more, photos on flickr badge)
I was with R., I., and J.
We left for Pangasinan on Friday. We sorta miscalculated the hours on the trip, we left at 12 m.n. and thought we'd arrive there at 5:30 a.m. But nope, we were there at 3:30 a.m.!
I. had said that some staff of Mayor Braganza had reserved a room for us but when we were there and sought somebody named "Thelma", Marjorie, the hotel staff, said she didn't know her.(Turns out later on that Thelma was with the boat ticketing office).
"Try Louise,"I told Isao. (Hehehe).
It took a little while before we could find a substitute room. Rey was helpful enough to use the room with 14 (!) beds, which we aptly called "the dorm". Since we arrived there very early, we decided to sleep a little bit and woke up at around 8 a.m. If it weren't for the noisy Koreans, we would have slept the whole day.
First Island
After breakfast, we set out to check out our first island: Marcos Island. It was a medium sized island with a dash of shoreline. Jann brought banig so that's where we sat and placed our things.
All we did there was drink beer, eat, sunbathe, eat again, sunbathe again until we met Claire, a four-year old Ilocana lovinlgy called "Basang."
Claire
You can tell from the color of Claire’s skin that she has spent half a day under the sun and she was obviously having fun. She was oblivious to our arrival. Just a couple of meters away from the shoreline, where the level was not even knee-deep, Claire would “dive” and flap her little feet. And then she would emerge, parting her hair that has covered part of her face, breathe deep and dive again.
Her father, J.R., striked up a conversation with our group and offered Claire’s floater. It was small but enough to carry our bodyweight. It was for babies actually. That’s when we asked Claire’s name. Of course, the little girl didn’t mind us. She was fine having fun by herself.
Claire had four instant yayas and yayo with us. At one point, I asked her if she wanted some sunoil on her which, to my surprise, she liked, never mind if the oil wouldn’t help her much since her skin was already dark.
After lunch, that’s when Claire really opened up. She was pulling a sea grass so I pulled my pamangkin tricks and pretended that it was hair. Placed the seagrass on her head and said it was such a beautiful and long hair to have on her head. She liked it. And reciprocated. She asked that I kneel down so she could put the seagrass and on my head. When she did, I gamely posed and asked her to pretend she was having my picture taken.
“Picture! Picture!” I said.
“Click!” she responded, quickly opening up both her palms as if to immitate a camera’s flashbulb.
(more, photos on flickr badge)
Afterglow- INXS
Here i am
Lost in the light of the moon
That comes through my window
Bathed in blue
The walls of my memory
Divides the thorns from the roses
It’s you and the roses
Touch me and i will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As i let you go
I will find my way
When i see your eyes
Now i’m living
In your afterglow
Here i am
Lost in the ashes of time
But who owns tomorrow
In between
The longing to hold you again
I’m caught in your shadow
I’m losing control
My mind drifts away
We only have today
Touch me and i will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorro
wAs i let you go
I will find my way
I will sacrifice
Till that blinding day
When i see your eyes
Now i’m living
In your afterglow
When the veils are gone
As i let you go
As i let you go
Touch me and i will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As i let you go
I will find my way
I will sacrifice
Now i’m living
In your afterglow
Bathed in blue
The walls of my memory
Divides the thorns from the roses
It’s you who is closest
Lost in the light of the moon
That comes through my window
Bathed in blue
The walls of my memory
Divides the thorns from the roses
It’s you and the roses
Touch me and i will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As i let you go
I will find my way
When i see your eyes
Now i’m living
In your afterglow
Here i am
Lost in the ashes of time
But who owns tomorrow
In between
The longing to hold you again
I’m caught in your shadow
I’m losing control
My mind drifts away
We only have today
Touch me and i will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorro
wAs i let you go
I will find my way
I will sacrifice
Till that blinding day
When i see your eyes
Now i’m living
In your afterglow
When the veils are gone
As i let you go
As i let you go
Touch me and i will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As i let you go
I will find my way
I will sacrifice
Now i’m living
In your afterglow
Bathed in blue
The walls of my memory
Divides the thorns from the roses
It’s you who is closest
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Penitence
The pillows told me what I have been denying. The ashtray, now empty, takes time to fill itself up. Even my stereo plays a different tune: melancholy. The writings on the wall and I couldn't ignore it.
But I shall overcome. Like I have, in the past, and now.
"I've been spiraling," I texted R. "I thought I was over," I thought to myself.
This morning on a newspaper:"Forgive and be healed." R. shows it to me.
"I have forgiven," I tell her.
"... but you have not healed," she completes the sentence for me.
Monday, April 03, 2006
For You, Two Seasons Or More Ago
I like watching people sleep. Particularly you.
It's as if, I am awaiting you from a long journey. And I am selfish. I want to be the first to welcome you when you open your eyes.
It's also like you're being born again and I am your proud mother/father. One look in your eyes and we are connected, a perpetual bond is forged in between.
Or if it is me sleeping, I would like you to be the first one I see. It will be like I never left. Or have come back to home. I nestle between your chin and your chest.
Had that chance once. Some two seasons ago (because in this part of the world, there are only two). Before my father died. After I had died (but I am, right now, slowly being resurrected). When I met you for the first time.
I had that chance once. Only once.
You are awake. And I am left dreaming.
It's as if, I am awaiting you from a long journey. And I am selfish. I want to be the first to welcome you when you open your eyes.
It's also like you're being born again and I am your proud mother/father. One look in your eyes and we are connected, a perpetual bond is forged in between.
Or if it is me sleeping, I would like you to be the first one I see. It will be like I never left. Or have come back to home. I nestle between your chin and your chest.
Had that chance once. Some two seasons ago (because in this part of the world, there are only two). Before my father died. After I had died (but I am, right now, slowly being resurrected). When I met you for the first time.
I had that chance once. Only once.
You are awake. And I am left dreaming.
Press Freedom in the Philippines
In the News
from The New York Times.
The Philippines Wages a Campaign of Intimidation Against Journalists
By SETH MYDANS
Published: April 3, 2006
MANILA, the Philippines — The Philippine news media, among the most exuberant and freewheeling in Asia, are coming under serious government pressure for the first time since the rule of Ferdinand Marcos more than 20 years ago.
Philippine soldiers patrolled the headquarters of ABS-CBN, the nation's largest television network, in suburban Manila in February.
Along with hints that the government may restrict public assembly, the campaign against the press strikes at the heart of the freedoms won in 1986 when Mr. Marcos was driven from the presidency by a popular uprising.
The pressure involves warnings, watch lists, surveillance, court cases, harassment lawsuits and threats of arrest on charges of sedition. No members of the press have been arrested, although three journalists have been charged with rebellion. No news outlets have been shut down, although troops surrounded several television stations for more than a week recently.
Journalists say the situation is particularly unnerving because of the uncertainty of what is happening or may happen to them.
"I have a number of people on my list," Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez said in a recent television interview. "We are studying them."
This aggressive posture follows a one-week state of emergency imposed on Feb. 24 by President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo in response to what she said was a coup attempt involving an array of enemies who have been calling for her resignation.
Since then, the police have broken up several gatherings that were seen as critical of the president and have briefly detained some participants.
The gatherings included an annual celebration of International Women's Day on March 8, in which a congresswoman who opposes Mrs. Arroyo was detained, in the words of the police, "to get her out of harm's way."
They included a mock beauty pageant in which each contestant was to be made up with a mole on her face in imitation of Mrs. Arroyo.
They also included something that at first seemed like a joke — small weekly protests at which participants did nothing more than buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks. The protesters got away with that one, but on March 19, the same group was dispersed by the police while walking through a park wearing T-shirts reading "Out Now," an evident reference to the president.
Officials have spoken of intelligence they received about planned gatherings in the same manner they have talked about monitoring reporters — vaguely, seemingly counting on the uncertainty to be more intimidating.
The director of the National Police, Gen. Arturo Lomibao, has told news outlets that they must conform to certain unspecified standards, which it will be up to the government to interpret on a case-by-case basis.
He referred to a new catchall regulation that bans "actions that hurt the Philippine State by obstructing governance including hindering the growth of the economy and sabotaging the people's confidence in government and their faith in the future of this country."
Apparently, the goal of all this is to promote self-censorship, said Maria Ressa, senior vice president for news and public affairs at the ABS-CBN Broadcasting Network, the nation's largest.
"It's crazy," she said. "You don't know what's happening but you feel they can move on you at any time."
Ms. Ressa has been a leader in demanding clarification of the government's policies toward the press and in filing a class-action lawsuit to bar prior restraint.
"There is definitely fear and uncertainty," she said. "When government officials say, 'We have the power to shut you down, we have the power to look at your content,' it's intimidation."
Editors and news directors say they have prepared for possible searches or arrests by backing up computer files, setting aside bail money and instructing their staff members on their legal rights if the police enter their offices.
The government has singled out in its threatening statements the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism, a small, aggressive group of journalists led by Sheila S. Coronel, a prominent journalist.
The center's exposés of corruption, presented during congressional impeachment hearings, helped bring down Mrs. Arroyo's predecessor, Joseph Estrada.
Government officials have said they may charge Ms. Coronel and members of her staff with sedition, but they are imprecise about who may be charged and on what evidence.
"It's very insidious," Ms. Coronel said. "They say they are studying filing sedition charges. They say they have lists, but they don't say who is on them. This is not how the game should be played. We know our rights, and we should not be harassed by psychological pressure."
Ms. Coronel was one of a group of young women who were reporters and became well known for defying Mr. Marcos in the early 1980's, a time when journalists were being harassed and arrested.
"People went to prison, people died for this freedom," Ms. Coronel said, "and if you give it up it is a betrayal of all the sacrifices that people have made in the past, people I know personally. It really makes me mad."
from The New York Times.
The Philippines Wages a Campaign of Intimidation Against Journalists
By SETH MYDANS
Published: April 3, 2006
MANILA, the Philippines — The Philippine news media, among the most exuberant and freewheeling in Asia, are coming under serious government pressure for the first time since the rule of Ferdinand Marcos more than 20 years ago.
Philippine soldiers patrolled the headquarters of ABS-CBN, the nation's largest television network, in suburban Manila in February.
Along with hints that the government may restrict public assembly, the campaign against the press strikes at the heart of the freedoms won in 1986 when Mr. Marcos was driven from the presidency by a popular uprising.
The pressure involves warnings, watch lists, surveillance, court cases, harassment lawsuits and threats of arrest on charges of sedition. No members of the press have been arrested, although three journalists have been charged with rebellion. No news outlets have been shut down, although troops surrounded several television stations for more than a week recently.
Journalists say the situation is particularly unnerving because of the uncertainty of what is happening or may happen to them.
"I have a number of people on my list," Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez said in a recent television interview. "We are studying them."
This aggressive posture follows a one-week state of emergency imposed on Feb. 24 by President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo in response to what she said was a coup attempt involving an array of enemies who have been calling for her resignation.
Since then, the police have broken up several gatherings that were seen as critical of the president and have briefly detained some participants.
The gatherings included an annual celebration of International Women's Day on March 8, in which a congresswoman who opposes Mrs. Arroyo was detained, in the words of the police, "to get her out of harm's way."
They included a mock beauty pageant in which each contestant was to be made up with a mole on her face in imitation of Mrs. Arroyo.
They also included something that at first seemed like a joke — small weekly protests at which participants did nothing more than buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks. The protesters got away with that one, but on March 19, the same group was dispersed by the police while walking through a park wearing T-shirts reading "Out Now," an evident reference to the president.
Officials have spoken of intelligence they received about planned gatherings in the same manner they have talked about monitoring reporters — vaguely, seemingly counting on the uncertainty to be more intimidating.
The director of the National Police, Gen. Arturo Lomibao, has told news outlets that they must conform to certain unspecified standards, which it will be up to the government to interpret on a case-by-case basis.
He referred to a new catchall regulation that bans "actions that hurt the Philippine State by obstructing governance including hindering the growth of the economy and sabotaging the people's confidence in government and their faith in the future of this country."
Apparently, the goal of all this is to promote self-censorship, said Maria Ressa, senior vice president for news and public affairs at the ABS-CBN Broadcasting Network, the nation's largest.
"It's crazy," she said. "You don't know what's happening but you feel they can move on you at any time."
Ms. Ressa has been a leader in demanding clarification of the government's policies toward the press and in filing a class-action lawsuit to bar prior restraint.
"There is definitely fear and uncertainty," she said. "When government officials say, 'We have the power to shut you down, we have the power to look at your content,' it's intimidation."
Editors and news directors say they have prepared for possible searches or arrests by backing up computer files, setting aside bail money and instructing their staff members on their legal rights if the police enter their offices.
The government has singled out in its threatening statements the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism, a small, aggressive group of journalists led by Sheila S. Coronel, a prominent journalist.
The center's exposés of corruption, presented during congressional impeachment hearings, helped bring down Mrs. Arroyo's predecessor, Joseph Estrada.
Government officials have said they may charge Ms. Coronel and members of her staff with sedition, but they are imprecise about who may be charged and on what evidence.
"It's very insidious," Ms. Coronel said. "They say they are studying filing sedition charges. They say they have lists, but they don't say who is on them. This is not how the game should be played. We know our rights, and we should not be harassed by psychological pressure."
Ms. Coronel was one of a group of young women who were reporters and became well known for defying Mr. Marcos in the early 1980's, a time when journalists were being harassed and arrested.
"People went to prison, people died for this freedom," Ms. Coronel said, "and if you give it up it is a betrayal of all the sacrifices that people have made in the past, people I know personally. It really makes me mad."
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
People Power in Two Places
OPINION
In France, thousands of students are turning up in the streets to protest a law that would allow companies to fire those under 26 without cause during their first two years in the job. Unions have joined the students in protesting the law. Protest leaders have refused an invitation for talks from Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin unless he rescinds the law. News accounts say that the protest actions have gone to call for the resignation of de Villepin.
It's the re-emergence of people power in France. The opposite is happening in the Philippines.
People power has largely been discredited. After two successful revolutions that toppled two Presidents, people power has largely been criticised as a short-term solution to long term, systemic woes. Some have even gone as far as to say people are tired of it. "People power fatigue" is a term recently coined to describe the disinterest.
But there lies the danger.
Once you describe to this idea that people power is no longer effective then we are giving the government the right to do whatever it wants to do.
In a recent report (Destabilization of the Nation) I did for Reporter's Notebook" Bayan Secretary General Renato Reyes admits that it's hard to muster enough crowds for protest actions against the government. Bayan alongside other anti-Arroyo groups are pushing for the resignation of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.
It's a dangerous trend.
Don't believe your friendly neighborhood politician when he says people power won't work again. Maybe it hasn't yet. But recent failures do not invalidate its effectiveness.
Because people power is the only thing we have. When government can use the law to further its interest, where and to what else do we turn to?
In France, thousands of students are turning up in the streets to protest a law that would allow companies to fire those under 26 without cause during their first two years in the job. Unions have joined the students in protesting the law. Protest leaders have refused an invitation for talks from Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin unless he rescinds the law. News accounts say that the protest actions have gone to call for the resignation of de Villepin.
It's the re-emergence of people power in France. The opposite is happening in the Philippines.
People power has largely been discredited. After two successful revolutions that toppled two Presidents, people power has largely been criticised as a short-term solution to long term, systemic woes. Some have even gone as far as to say people are tired of it. "People power fatigue" is a term recently coined to describe the disinterest.
But there lies the danger.
Once you describe to this idea that people power is no longer effective then we are giving the government the right to do whatever it wants to do.
In a recent report (Destabilization of the Nation) I did for Reporter's Notebook" Bayan Secretary General Renato Reyes admits that it's hard to muster enough crowds for protest actions against the government. Bayan alongside other anti-Arroyo groups are pushing for the resignation of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.
It's a dangerous trend.
Don't believe your friendly neighborhood politician when he says people power won't work again. Maybe it hasn't yet. But recent failures do not invalidate its effectiveness.
Because people power is the only thing we have. When government can use the law to further its interest, where and to what else do we turn to?
Summer Song
"So Sick"
Ne-Yo
Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah
Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
That's the reason
I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio
Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?
Ne-Yo
Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah
Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
That's the reason
I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio
Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Summer Sea
After two years I was back at her feet. This time, I swim confidently and take in the sun while I enjoy a few minutes floating.
Summer is here and I am renewed.
From the moment I saw that blue vastness, I knew I've recovered myself. There was a tiny pang of loneliness still but it quickly vanished, like the foam on the sand.
There was a sense of liberation, which, however long it took, was cherished for its coming.
I was back at her feet, but she knew it was a different person.
Last night when we left, I looked up the sky and saw the same constellations and for a minute wondered, if they would be the same constellations that P. would see. It would then be like we were looking into each other's eyes once again.
But suddenly, like epiphany, I muttered, would it matter?
I examined the black sky's vastness. What was that saying? "There are many fishes in the ocean?" The stars are as plenty as our chances of finding that one great love.
Some day, a shooting star will announce his arrival.
Summer is here and I am renewed.
From the moment I saw that blue vastness, I knew I've recovered myself. There was a tiny pang of loneliness still but it quickly vanished, like the foam on the sand.
There was a sense of liberation, which, however long it took, was cherished for its coming.
I was back at her feet, but she knew it was a different person.
Last night when we left, I looked up the sky and saw the same constellations and for a minute wondered, if they would be the same constellations that P. would see. It would then be like we were looking into each other's eyes once again.
But suddenly, like epiphany, I muttered, would it matter?
I examined the black sky's vastness. What was that saying? "There are many fishes in the ocean?" The stars are as plenty as our chances of finding that one great love.
Some day, a shooting star will announce his arrival.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Mothers Know Best
This morning, my Mom had enough of my refusal to send some moolah.
"Why do you not always have money? I know you have a hidden agenda. I did some research," my Mom texted.
"What are you talking about?" I replied, suggesting the improbability of it all. Research? (Mayeb she meant investigation.) Like how? She has not even seen where I live and assuming she knows, she has not set foot in Manila in the past two years or so. If she desires so, she will need the help of my cousins who have not ever seen my place even. It's like my general address is Quezon City. And Quezon City is not small.
I don't need counter-intelligence to say she is working on a hunch, at the very least or what we call in Filipino "duda." But even the word "hunch" suggests something has a basis.
My fear has been confirmed. When my friends convince me to "out" myself to my parents I decide against it. Considering her context (she lives in the province) and her awareness about homosexuals, it would be more stressful to be out than helpful for any of us.
One such instance I'm trying to avoid is that she would accuse me that I'm--what's the rough translation of "nanlalalaki" in English?--It suggests that homosexual relationships are based on economics; of one paying for another in exchange of whatever. Fortunately for me, my first boyfriend never asked me for anything, and neither did I ask anything from him (aside of course from eternal love whahahahaha).
So when she texted me: "Baka nanlalaki ka na d'yan!" I felt a little affirmed. It was the right decision not to tell her.
"Of course, not," I replied, avoiding to argue any further. There's no use arguing my case.
There's no use telling her what she already knows.
"Why do you not always have money? I know you have a hidden agenda. I did some research," my Mom texted.
"What are you talking about?" I replied, suggesting the improbability of it all. Research? (Mayeb she meant investigation.) Like how? She has not even seen where I live and assuming she knows, she has not set foot in Manila in the past two years or so. If she desires so, she will need the help of my cousins who have not ever seen my place even. It's like my general address is Quezon City. And Quezon City is not small.
I don't need counter-intelligence to say she is working on a hunch, at the very least or what we call in Filipino "duda." But even the word "hunch" suggests something has a basis.
My fear has been confirmed. When my friends convince me to "out" myself to my parents I decide against it. Considering her context (she lives in the province) and her awareness about homosexuals, it would be more stressful to be out than helpful for any of us.
One such instance I'm trying to avoid is that she would accuse me that I'm--what's the rough translation of "nanlalalaki" in English?--It suggests that homosexual relationships are based on economics; of one paying for another in exchange of whatever. Fortunately for me, my first boyfriend never asked me for anything, and neither did I ask anything from him (aside of course from eternal love whahahahaha).
So when she texted me: "Baka nanlalaki ka na d'yan!" I felt a little affirmed. It was the right decision not to tell her.
"Of course, not," I replied, avoiding to argue any further. There's no use arguing my case.
There's no use telling her what she already knows.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I've Been Tagged
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. news desk assistant
2. news editor, philippine collegian
3. flash report, writer
4. contents editor, www.peyups.com
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. El Bola
2. A Very Long Engagement
3. Kill Bill 1
4. Kill Bill 2
Four places you have lived:
1. Quezon City
2. Batangas
3. Lucena
4. la pa. wanna take me in?
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. American Idol
2. Will and Grace
3. FRIENDS
4. American Idol Ulit
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Batangas
2. Boracay
3. Galera
4. Sagada
Four websites I visit daily:
1. www.inq7.net
2. www.nytimes.com
3. www.villagevoice.com
4. www.crimsonpage.blogspot.com (under duress)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. oysters
2. special chelo kebab
3. adobo
4. sinigang
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In Spain
2. On a beach
3. In a spa
4. At home, sleeeeeeepinggg.
Seven friends who I have tagged that I think will respond (i'm keeping my fingers crossed)
1. myla
2. isao3. (list your name here)
4.
5.
6.
7.
1. news desk assistant
2. news editor, philippine collegian
3. flash report, writer
4. contents editor, www.peyups.com
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. El Bola
2. A Very Long Engagement
3. Kill Bill 1
4. Kill Bill 2
Four places you have lived:
1. Quezon City
2. Batangas
3. Lucena
4. la pa. wanna take me in?
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. American Idol
2. Will and Grace
3. FRIENDS
4. American Idol Ulit
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Batangas
2. Boracay
3. Galera
4. Sagada
Four websites I visit daily:
1. www.inq7.net
2. www.nytimes.com
3. www.villagevoice.com
4. www.crimsonpage.blogspot.com (under duress)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. oysters
2. special chelo kebab
3. adobo
4. sinigang
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In Spain
2. On a beach
3. In a spa
4. At home, sleeeeeeepinggg.
Seven friends who I have tagged that I think will respond (i'm keeping my fingers crossed)
1. myla
2. isao3. (list your name here)
4.
5.
6.
7.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Shameless Plug
This was taken from my former professor's blog. Hehehehe. Sir Paolo, I'm originally a Theater Arts Major then shifted to Journalism at my father's insistence. Hehehe. Entry here.
Joseph the Dreamer
Apr. 11th, 2005 04:02 pm
Seeing Joseph Morong's face on television as he reports for 24 Oras makes me proud...and quite old! Wasn't it only a few semesters ago when I met him and his classmates for Comm II (now known as English 10) at the National Institute for Geological Sciences? It was one of the academic years where the university had a shortage of classrooms for English and general education courses in Palma Hall. Most of the English junior faculty were assigned to far-flung buildings like the NIGS.
Joseph was in that section composed of MassComm and Theater Arts majors that included Neil Ryan Sese. Joseph was having problems with some of his blockmates...or rather, some of them had problems with him, and I recall this because they came over for consultations about this matter. But it was just some minor tampuhan--personality differences that easily resolved itself as the semester progressed. Other than that, I always looked forward to Joseph reciting in class. He had the beginnings of that naturally modulated voice that we hear on the news. It was a pleasure to see and hear him bug Eddie Gil to explain how he could solve the national debt problem.
I'm not sure if Joseph started out in theater arts then shifted to MassComm (I know several theater majors from that batch shifted out). Today he's a familiar face on national television delivering the news responsibly and doing public service. If I could go back in time to when he had doubts about his direction in college, I'll tell him he'll have a kooky interview with a man with an awful toupee waiting in his future. And also that he'll be in Basilan to cover the Bangsamoro peace process. This was his segment in last week's Reporter's Notebook, and from the looks of it, there'll be more segments waiting to be made.
Joseph the Dreamer
Apr. 11th, 2005 04:02 pm
Seeing Joseph Morong's face on television as he reports for 24 Oras makes me proud...and quite old! Wasn't it only a few semesters ago when I met him and his classmates for Comm II (now known as English 10) at the National Institute for Geological Sciences? It was one of the academic years where the university had a shortage of classrooms for English and general education courses in Palma Hall. Most of the English junior faculty were assigned to far-flung buildings like the NIGS.
Joseph was in that section composed of MassComm and Theater Arts majors that included Neil Ryan Sese. Joseph was having problems with some of his blockmates...or rather, some of them had problems with him, and I recall this because they came over for consultations about this matter. But it was just some minor tampuhan--personality differences that easily resolved itself as the semester progressed. Other than that, I always looked forward to Joseph reciting in class. He had the beginnings of that naturally modulated voice that we hear on the news. It was a pleasure to see and hear him bug Eddie Gil to explain how he could solve the national debt problem.
I'm not sure if Joseph started out in theater arts then shifted to MassComm (I know several theater majors from that batch shifted out). Today he's a familiar face on national television delivering the news responsibly and doing public service. If I could go back in time to when he had doubts about his direction in college, I'll tell him he'll have a kooky interview with a man with an awful toupee waiting in his future. And also that he'll be in Basilan to cover the Bangsamoro peace process. This was his segment in last week's Reporter's Notebook, and from the looks of it, there'll be more segments waiting to be made.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
A Parable Told
"Son, when you grow up, be careful," a father bird told his son.
"Things are not always what they seem to be," he added. The young bird listened intently, though the look in his innocent eyes say, he has yet to understand fully what his father was saying.
"Sometimes, it's safer to stay with your friends. Keep a small circle, so flight is easier," the father told his son.
"Cherish your freedom. Fly freely. That's what your wings are for. Challenge yourself. Stretch your horizon," he continued.
"Other birds may be envious," he admonished his son. "And that's probably because you fly higher, or you have stronger wings, or maybe you have more colorful feathers," he said.
"It's easy to stoop down to their level but resist the urge. You cannot change them. Instead, cherish what you have. That would be your best revenge, if you have to, at all," the father bird told his son.
The look in the young bird's eyes said he may not be able to understand the lessons yet, but some day soon he would.
"Things are not always what they seem to be," he added. The young bird listened intently, though the look in his innocent eyes say, he has yet to understand fully what his father was saying.
"Sometimes, it's safer to stay with your friends. Keep a small circle, so flight is easier," the father told his son.
"Cherish your freedom. Fly freely. That's what your wings are for. Challenge yourself. Stretch your horizon," he continued.
"Other birds may be envious," he admonished his son. "And that's probably because you fly higher, or you have stronger wings, or maybe you have more colorful feathers," he said.
"It's easy to stoop down to their level but resist the urge. You cannot change them. Instead, cherish what you have. That would be your best revenge, if you have to, at all," the father bird told his son.
The look in the young bird's eyes said he may not be able to understand the lessons yet, but some day soon he would.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Greek
There is a Duncan Sheik song that mentioned "Morpheus".
Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by
Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by
Friday, February 24, 2006
People Power Redux
Been tired since yesterday and today wasn't better.
I came from Panamao and Tiptipon, Sulu yesterday to cover the Balikatan exercises there. Left at around 5 a.m. yesterday which means, I only got 2 hours of sleep before the flight. Wasn't able to have some shut eye during the visit because we had to work of course. I thought I could rest the next day, which is today.
But I got a call at around 7:30 a.m. reminding me that I should be early for work. I thought the desk person was referring to my 9 a.m. shift, but later found out that what he had said was that I should be at work at 8 a.m. but that's another matter.
Anyway, the reason for the early call time was (at least) initially, people power celebrations today. What I didn't know was the newsroom had been buzy already. Talks of a quelled coup attempt, etc.
I was deployed to cover the rally of Akbayan, Laban ng Masa group. The group was with UP Prof. Randy David, former UP President Franciso Nemenzo, and Akbayan Representative Risa Hontiveros.
The initial plan was to push on to Edsa Shrine. I thought they wouldn't have any problems. They whizzed pass the policemen who blocked them on their way out of the Circle.
Their number grew to about 10,000 (at least according to a rallyist). On the street, they would encourage the uziseros. Their invitation was met with claps, clenched fists, and cheers.
I thought they could go to EDSA Shrine but when they reached Santolan, it was clear, that the the fist of the government would quell them.
There were negotiations initially between the rally group's leaders, Hontiveros, David and Nemenzo and Quezon City Police Chief Nicasio Radovan. But the police just wouldn't let them pass.
The signal to disperse was given. The firetruck beamed their hose toward the rallyists. Within minutes, rocks were being hurled at the policemen. I was on top of the firetruck on the side of the police, I was worried I might be hit. But I guess I was lucky.
Some 18 rallyists were arrested. Later on, I discovered that David, Ronald Llamas, and Atty. Argee Guevarra were arrested (they were later on released).
Hontiveros was safe and so was Nemenzo.
"I remember Martial Law twenty years ago, during the time of Marcos," Nemenzo wryly said.
Fate has a way of reminding how lessons should be learned.
I came from Panamao and Tiptipon, Sulu yesterday to cover the Balikatan exercises there. Left at around 5 a.m. yesterday which means, I only got 2 hours of sleep before the flight. Wasn't able to have some shut eye during the visit because we had to work of course. I thought I could rest the next day, which is today.
But I got a call at around 7:30 a.m. reminding me that I should be early for work. I thought the desk person was referring to my 9 a.m. shift, but later found out that what he had said was that I should be at work at 8 a.m. but that's another matter.
Anyway, the reason for the early call time was (at least) initially, people power celebrations today. What I didn't know was the newsroom had been buzy already. Talks of a quelled coup attempt, etc.
I was deployed to cover the rally of Akbayan, Laban ng Masa group. The group was with UP Prof. Randy David, former UP President Franciso Nemenzo, and Akbayan Representative Risa Hontiveros.
The initial plan was to push on to Edsa Shrine. I thought they wouldn't have any problems. They whizzed pass the policemen who blocked them on their way out of the Circle.
Their number grew to about 10,000 (at least according to a rallyist). On the street, they would encourage the uziseros. Their invitation was met with claps, clenched fists, and cheers.
I thought they could go to EDSA Shrine but when they reached Santolan, it was clear, that the the fist of the government would quell them.
There were negotiations initially between the rally group's leaders, Hontiveros, David and Nemenzo and Quezon City Police Chief Nicasio Radovan. But the police just wouldn't let them pass.
The signal to disperse was given. The firetruck beamed their hose toward the rallyists. Within minutes, rocks were being hurled at the policemen. I was on top of the firetruck on the side of the police, I was worried I might be hit. But I guess I was lucky.
Some 18 rallyists were arrested. Later on, I discovered that David, Ronald Llamas, and Atty. Argee Guevarra were arrested (they were later on released).
Hontiveros was safe and so was Nemenzo.
"I remember Martial Law twenty years ago, during the time of Marcos," Nemenzo wryly said.
Fate has a way of reminding how lessons should be learned.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
364 Days Of Loving
It's morbidly convenient to have had my Father pass on on Valentine's day. It's been a year and I should be somehow thankful. For one, it saved me (and will, from last year onwards) from the trouble of jumping on this bandwagon of commercialized love (need we, for example, be reminded of our commitment, of our task/obligation to our beloved on this day when it should have been a given).
Yeah, that's just my jaded me speaking.
Today, I'm wearing black. I have as equal right as those who want to wear red on this day.
Lest, I be misinterpreted, let me just say that when that person comes along, I want to be original. We will celebrate that magical discovery and then eventual union of two lost souls, all year round, every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, every day of a week, every week of a month, every month of a year.
Except Valentine's Day.
Yeah, that's just my jaded me speaking.
Today, I'm wearing black. I have as equal right as those who want to wear red on this day.
Lest, I be misinterpreted, let me just say that when that person comes along, I want to be original. We will celebrate that magical discovery and then eventual union of two lost souls, all year round, every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, every day of a week, every week of a month, every month of a year.
Except Valentine's Day.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Alarmed
Modern technology has failed me.
Sunday morning, I woke up to a dead XDA. Curious, I examined why the alert light (or whatever it is you call it) was neither green (in which case, it means it's fully charged) or red (which means I have a message/missed call). But when I attempted to turn it on, I noticed that even the screen was blank. Resuscitating it by way of changing its batteries didn't help.
Good thing it was a weekend, otherwise, I would have missed my alarm or calls from the office (about a sudden change in schedule).
So it dawned on me that what I thought would be a perpetually reliable XDA would no longer be. I managed to revive it after a couple of minutes but I knew the dependability factor was nil.
During a break in my coverage I bought an alarm clock, my first since college. It's made of plastic and has three options for alarm: the regular beep, a bird's sound and a rooster's cock-a-doddle-doo. I like the third option.
I'll see if it's any better.
Sunday morning, I woke up to a dead XDA. Curious, I examined why the alert light (or whatever it is you call it) was neither green (in which case, it means it's fully charged) or red (which means I have a message/missed call). But when I attempted to turn it on, I noticed that even the screen was blank. Resuscitating it by way of changing its batteries didn't help.
Good thing it was a weekend, otherwise, I would have missed my alarm or calls from the office (about a sudden change in schedule).
So it dawned on me that what I thought would be a perpetually reliable XDA would no longer be. I managed to revive it after a couple of minutes but I knew the dependability factor was nil.
During a break in my coverage I bought an alarm clock, my first since college. It's made of plastic and has three options for alarm: the regular beep, a bird's sound and a rooster's cock-a-doddle-doo. I like the third option.
I'll see if it's any better.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Good Night, And Good Luck
A guiding light.
"We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our destiny, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men -- nor from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate and to defend causes that were, for the moment, unpopular."
-Edward R. Murrow
Friday, February 03, 2006
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