Christmas 2007

Spent Christmas Eve with Jay and his family. Had a salo-salo. The kids (Sam, Nicole, including Jay ehehehe) couldn't wait until 12 mn so they opened their gifts thirty minutes earlier.

Sam got lots of kikay stuff including a necklace maker while Nicole got the artsy-activity stuff like Clay-do. Jay got a really nice shirt with a skeleton with a heart print from Sar. His nieces (Nanah and KC) and Paula gave a me a nice hat.

Chatted with Mama and Jay until around 4 a.m. Jay and I nearly finished a bottle of red wine. Was late for work today. Hehehehhe.

We celebrated Christmas four days ago. I got my "Mac Book" from Jay with some of our twosome photos with matching CD drive with an actual CD in it. 'Twas really nice and thoughtful. Will post the pic here how it looks. I love it.

Gave him a French language instructional CD and book. Hehehehe. He wants to go to France so I'm giving him a headstart. Either that or he could curse me in French. Hehehehehe. Joke.

Bought two identical red coffee cups - how Christmasy. Hehehehe.

I'm looking forward to spending the holidays back in Lucena. Now if I could convince Jay to go with him. Had asked Mama's permission already. Jay says he's shy. Hehehehe.

Bought my godchildren their presents -- boy, they're growing big both in numbers and in size. The gifts are getting more expensive. Hehehehe.

But that I guess is the essence of giving -- the actual gift-giving a symbol of one's selfless love.

GMA Christmas Party 2007

Tina and I during the spectacular fireworks display. Hehehehe

Have A Bunny Christmas Everyone

Last night, we had an early Christmas get-together- a triple celebration to usher in the holidays: Kara's award as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Men for Broadcast Journalism for 2007, Nelson's despedida and the Elida party.

Pictures tell a thousand stories. Check out the photos in the photos section of this site.

Have a Wonderful Holiday Season everyone!

Joseph Thaddeus Means ... :)

What Your Name Means

You entered: joseph thaddeus estrella morong There are 28 letters in your name. Those 28 letters total to 122 There are 10 vowels and 18 consonants in your name. What your first name means: Hebrew Male May Jehovah add/give increase. St Joseph of Arimathea undertook the burial of Jesus (in Holy Grail lore). In the bible Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery and later rose to become a supreme power in Egypt. Also Jesus' legal father.. Biblical Male Increase; addition Your number is: 5 The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom. The expression or destiny for #5: The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker. If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests. Your Soul Urge number is: 7 A Soul Urge number of 7 means: With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being. You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly. The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others. Your Inner Dream number is: 7 An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.

from http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Joseph Thaddeus Means ... :)

What Your Name Means

You entered: joseph thaddeus estrella morong There are 28 letters in your name. Those 28 letters total to 122 There are 10 vowels and 18 consonants in your name. What your first name means: Hebrew Male May Jehovah add/give increase. St Joseph of Arimathea undertook the burial of Jesus (in Holy Grail lore). In the bible Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery and later rose to become a supreme power in Egypt. Also Jesus' legal father.. Biblical Male Increase; addition Your number is: 5 The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom. The expression or destiny for #5: The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker. If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests. Your Soul Urge number is: 7 A Soul Urge number of 7 means: With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being. You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly. The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others. Your Inner Dream number is: 7 An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.

from http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Neruda

If You Forget Me

I want you to know one thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.

Bangenge Bertday

Matagal ko nang wish yun, yung mabangag sa lasing hahahahaha. I think the last time I felt like that was in 2004 in Bora, yung tipong bangag ka na, tatakbo ka sa beachfront tapos dun ka susuka. Tapos babalik ka ulit sa bar, sasayaw, parang walang suka hahahaha.

Pero hindi beachfront ang sinukahan ko noong Friday: ang dingding, ang CR ng boys at CR ng girls (god m confused hwahahhahahahhaha). Pero happiness.

Salamat sa mga pumunta. Sana'y maging masaya tayo palagi!

Thank You

Thanks to all those who greeted me a "Happy Birthday" today. It was really overwhelming. Pasensiya na kung hindi kilala nung fone ko yung mga numbers nung iba, kasi nagka-amnesia siya at kinalimutan lahat ng numbers ko (pati ng nanay, kapatid at mga kaibigan ko ehehehe). Pero nakakalimot man ang cellphone ko, hindi naman ako. Maraming salamat ulit! :)

* postcript

me konting salo-salo nga pala ngayong biyernes. samahan nyo kong magpakalango sa beer hahaha. la na ako practice, nung last time ako uminom, bangag na ako sa tatlong beer. hahahaha. tanders!

Wish

If you want something from the Universe, you have to ask for it. Wahahahaha. So here it is, for my birthday: a MacBook! Last night, I had to burn some songs for P. but since Pyesky's desktop conked out, I had to borrow her MacBook. I super want that!

Last time, I kidded my Mom that I wanted a MacBook. Ever the thoughtful mom that she is, she texted back asking: "Ano bang klaseng book ang gusto mo?" Hehehehehe. Sweet mom, sweet. It's called generation gap. And endearing reminder of the space between that must be filled in. The space is the bond.

No One

No one, bico. :)

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http://www.metrolyrics.com/noone-lyrics-alicia-keys.html" title="Alicia Keys No One Lyrics">Alicia Keys No One Lyrics

Birthday

My birthday is around the corner wohoooo! Less than a month away. Muy excitado! There's reason to celebrate. Life. Love. And everything in between that makes both worthwhile. Thinking of going to the beach. Or drinking blind-drunk hehehehe.

Phoenix Rises

What Form Would Your Patronus Take? (With 10 Excellent Results & Pictures)

Your Patronus would be a Phoenix!
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Faith

How far one goes depends on how much one believes.

When I was younger, I remember, my extended family would go to the beach for some RnR. It was fairly regular, most of the times, the trips were a product of the spur of the moment decisions. I loved it as a kid and I love it still.

During one such occasion, I remember seeing my Mom walk my Dad to the beachfront. My Dad had suffered a heartstroke but survived. But the stroke impaired his walking and hence needed my Mom to be at his side most of the times.

But Mom was walking my Dad not only because he had difficulty walking. She was walking my Dad because they were reliving the days when they were much younger; when there were less gray hair on their head, their sights much clearer, their bodies more agile.

I secretly liked those moments of sweetness between my parents. (Another such display was during the holidays - Dad, obviously drunk, sang to my Mom in front of everybody in the compound. There is still a sepia photograph in our albums to remind me of such).

As I was watching them frolick in the sea, I heard one of Tito say: "Bakit kaya hindi pa iwanan ni Thelma (my Mom) si Morie (my Dad)?"

I acted like I didn't hear him actually say it. But I knew where he was coming from. My Dad being an "outsider" in the family, meaning he was the addition to the family, they sometimes see it as too taxing for my Mom to take care of him.

Years later, I would realise, and then later on learn as one of life's lessons, why my Mom stuck it out with Dad.

Because love is also about commitment. The road to forever is not always smooth, the vision not always rosy-colored. There are a few bumpy turns, unexpected detours and blind curves. But what is important, when things like these occur, is to always hold the hand of the one you love. It's hard sometimes but when you think of that other person and you think you still love him. Start with that. Maybe that's a good place to start to pursue the journey.

Back in Manila

Had some photos up already. There's a lot more in my camera, wanted to post everything except that the internet connection is slow and I got all crazy and lost track of what folders I placed what photos. Hehehehe. Anyway, some photos are in the Thailand folder.

I Meant Khao San

I just about spilled SanMig Light on the computer keyboard, hahahhaha, so that goes without saying, someone is really drunk.

On the subject of being drunk, I want to correct something. When I wrote Patpong in the previous entry, I was actually referring to Khao San where I was yesterday and today.

I was too drunk but I still remember asking "June," this Thai waitress what the spelling of Patpong was not mindful of the fact that I was asking how they spell Khao San actually.

This is the second night here in KHAO SAN. A very hip and very young. PJ was right on the spot when he asked what I was doing in Patpong which is a red light district.

Prior to going to this same place that we went to yesterday, we were with the participants of the workshop. But the rest had to go back to the hotel and we, meaning Rodel and I (the two Filipinos, him being with the Philippine Star) hung out with two Thais: Bes, and the other Thai whose name was too hard to pronounce.

We had a blast. Oriented them with San Miguel Beer (shouldn't we be getting a talent fee for promoting Filipino products?). At one point, one girl was looking at me and she seemed interested enough to leave her calling card with us. The other Thai guy was egging me on so I thought I had to come out to them and tell them I was gay.

I was gay, I told them but they didn't mind. Which brings to mind an assumption that honesty is always appreciated.

"It's better that way than people hiding under the cover," Bes tells us.

Regardless of one's culture, or language, certain values remain important.

P

In Patpong now in Thailand. Known as the backpackers' area, I feel a little bit overdressed for wearng a collared shirt, pants and rubber shoes. The people here, mostly foreigners are wearing just sandals, shorts and shirts. But I came from a seminar, so that should count as a good excuse.

Anyway, I'm writing this from an internet shop in a bar that has a map of the Philippines on its walls and big San Miguel names. We initially thought the owner might be Filipino so we went in (discount? ehheehe).

"Many Filipino, here, visit," the lady said in broken English. The menu didn't sound foreign enough, I had pork with garlic. Back in the Philippines, we call it "adobo." hahhahaa.

Another interesting thing here is a really big San Miguel Light beer, maybe roughly equivalent to two and a half of the regular size SanMig Light back home. I had one giant bottle and it was enough to give me a buzz. No make that buzz buzz buzz buzz. Hehehe.

Picked up a few things for pasalubong, some fancily cute cellphone tags and kikay shirts (for guys, sounds like an oxymoron, not to our kind hehehehe).

There's also a tattoo shop where I'm planning to get one -- as a perpetual reminder of my being here.

Would be back in the Philippines on Saturday.

Painting No. 2

dsc00225
Originally uploaded by josephthaddeus

Love, immortalised. Ahihihihi

Finally getting the hang of it, the acrylic and the canvass. Not scary at all, in hindsight. Hehehehe. I'm thinking of buying a bigger easel for bigger paintings. Hehehe.

I Will Hold Your Hand

No need to fear.

If You Knew

(Nina Simone)

If you knew how I missed you
You would not stay away today
Dont you know I need you
Stay here my dear with me

I need you here my darling
Together for a day a day
Together never parting
Just you just me my love

I cant go on without you
Your love is all Im living for
I love all things about you
Your heart your soul my love

I need you here beside me
Forever and a day a day
I know whatever betides me
I love you I love you I do

August 7, 2007

When one is scared, it's always nice to have someone's hand to hold. :) One month after, and the feeling is stronger.

Courage

final painting
Originally uploaded by josephthaddeus

I've conquered my fear.

For years, I was scared of the brush and paint thinking I was better off pencil sketches. The last time I painted was in elementary when we joined this competition open to Asian children. I think it was the Unicef which sponsored it. But I soon forgot about it. In high school, I joined several on-the-spot painting competitions but I limited myself with an easier medium which was the cray-pas.

Years moved on and adult responsibilities set in and I was farther away from my passion.

Until one time an opportunity came.

I was covering the Subic rape case last year and since court trials were off limits to camera -- I doodled, loose sketches actually, scenes from the trial. I showed it to Johnray who is Saksi's executive producer and floated the possibility of using it as video support. He liked the idea and that was when I was reunited with my long-ignored talent.

I remember feeling very balanced after that, that kind when you feel so peaceful you'd think you've subdued a tempest.

And so the passion was rekindled.

I remember the elation I bought my first set of acrylic paint, easel and brushes.

I remember how scared and at the same time thrilled to draw the outline. I almost turned back and nearly told myself I couldn't do it.

But even with a little trepidation -- I drew the first outlines of what would be my first self-portrait. I could almost hear the sound of the yellow color pencil touch the white canvass. And as with everything else in life, I risked, and with still incomplete abandon, I drew. I drew once again. Soon I filled up the outlines with ink, very tentative at first, until I've become familiar with the medium's behavior.

And so the first painting is done, a painting that waited for years to be born has finally been born, with it a fear has died. And I am reborn.

As with every thing in life, we shouldn't anticipate what would happen. Anticipating is a silly exercise. It is hopeless as it is tiring. And so we tread carefully, sometimes, carelessly, in the sometimes dark abyss that is our fear. We hold on - to the promise of a goal, or if not of at least becoming a better person after the journey.

Life, I guess, should be lived as a series of wonderful surprises, of conquering little demons in our heads, of breaking free of the fear.

Life is beautiful, they say, and it is, because we can make it so.