Goodbye, Hazel

Josie described it best, that feeling after knowing what had happened to Haze: crushed. Last Saturday, I knew what Josie had meant.

It was my first time to see Arlene (Farol) who were there in Bicol when the accident happened and who attended to Hazel and her crew's remain.

One of Hazel's friends was speaking about their group's memories of Hazel. "Marami kami memories ni Hazel," she said.

At that point, Arlene turned to me and said, crying: "Tayo rin naman, 'di ba?"

I could no longer hold back the tears, I sat beside her and we both wept uncontrollably. I felt being orphaned.

Before the necrological services ended, I presented a gift to Sacha (Hazel's baby) and her family on behalf of the Justice and Courts Reporters Association (JUCRA): a scrapbook we lovingly fashioned into a big diary. We named it the "Dear Sacha (stories about Mommy) album."

I couldn't contain myself, sitting before her friends and family. We were one in grief and longing for Hazel.

"Mommy," I turned to Hazel's mom, "this is our gift to Sacha. In it, we've written stories about Hazel and included photos of her. So when Sacha grows up, she'll have stories about her Mom, who had loved her so much, to live by."

It was our small gesture of immortalizing Hazel and making tangible which could only be felt, like love.

Words are a writer's currency. That has always been a secret source of joy for me.

And with words, Hazel shall live immortal, both in our hearts and our collective memories.

Goodbye, Hazel, however unacceptable, death always is.

You will not be forgotten.