Dan: Because I'm addicted to it. Because without it, we're animals. Trust me.
- From the movie "Closer" ,2004
Truth. Is it such a heavy requirement?
I'm in one of those post-mortem moments again. I'm re-dissecting, re-examining the cadaver that was my past immediate romantic relationship which is officially five-months dead.
Truth was where we fundamentally differed. Paul and I.
To him, he had the right to keep things from me. Issues with his ex, or whatever he was doing towards his ex. Whether he was emotionally injured by his ex was not any of my concern.
I disagreed. It rendered me useless, meaningless, irrevelant, if I couldn't help you move on, heal from your past wounds.
I wanted him to reveal himself to me, warts and all, and I should be ready with what I was going to see and prepared not to judge.
I was anticipating. But he was scared.
He was surrounded by layers of lies and half-truths.
Looking back, I don't know now, who was the Paul I loved.
"Napanood mo na 'yung 'Closer'?" he asked, when he went to my house to pick-up a couple of his stuffs.
"Well, yeah," I said and pointed at the pirated CD of the movie on the floor.
Interesting, I thought, that he liked the movie. "It was about being honest, you know," I wanted to tell him. "Which character did you identify most with?" I wanted to ask him.
I was the Jude Law (Dan). And he was my Natalie (Alice).
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