I imagine that fucking teddy bear burning. Its white fur turn into angry red-orange before turning black. Before it is turned to ashes, it will crumple, like paper, and its soul will escape as smoke. I will leave it burning before my doorstep, perhaps take a photo to freeze the moment (a keepsake or a tombstone to mark that time and place where I finally decided to move on.)
I rehearse that scene in my mind over and over again, so that soon I will be able to do it, finally.
That bear, the simple send-off gift I gave you when you left for abroad. "Something to remember me by. Something to keep you warm in your lonely nights," I told you.
Now I am the one left with it. (Something to remember you by). You must have slipped it in that box when you went over to my house, one time. I discovered it a couple of days after you left. A fitting tribute to a love that once was; an umbilical cord that connects birth and death.
"Throw everything that is connected with him," a friend advised once.
I know I should. I'm just too afraid to do it now. Someday soon, I know, I will muster enough courage to do what is long overdue: to love one's self, by moving forward.
About Me
- Phoenix Rising
- I was reborn on my 24th birthday. A Libran, they say, I have the innate ability to balance things. So I am a little of both, if you know what I mean. Words are my currency. But I am, still, fascinated by silence. ABOUT MY BLOG. Just as there are mission and vision statements for newspapers, here's what it is for my blog: This is largely personal, for my friends and their friends' consumption. Nothing in this blog should be taken to mean as the position of the media outfit I'm working for. As its name suggests, expect some melancholy as you can expect some opinions. Expect fire as you can expect fear. Questions as there are answers.
2 comments:
jordan,
bridget jones, hehehe. yeah, saw that one already. i'm just taking it day by day, y'know. there's just a few moments when everything just comes back and when they do, i just surrender. afterwards, i try to move on. hard, really. but i'm coping.
Joseph,
It’s okay to reminisce things from the past.
Though it may be hard for us to cope from its bitter part, it’s all in the process.
And at the end of it, you’ll just notice that you can already stand the pain.
You could make the sweetest smile coz you’ll realize that you were able to offer yourself
and love a person unselfishly. That alone is a very great accomplishment a man could achieve! Seize the day, God is always on your side.
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