Japan Here We Come

Now it can be told. We're flying to Tokyo to watch the U2 vertigo tour in Saitama. Won this raffle by Smart and it's a trip for two, all expense paid trip to Japan. We're leaving on the 28th and will stay there until the 30th wohooo.

Got our visas today. There were the jitters, we thought we lacked the requirements but Jojit pulled the charm card and convinced the embassy that we didn't need the ITR because it's their company which is shouldering the cost of the trip. Wohoooooo!

I'm assembling my three-day wardrobe (read: really thick jackets and nothing more hekhek).

Hay, muy excitado!

With Or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait

And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more

And Im waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live

With or without you
With or without you

Fingers-Crossed

Soon. Soon.

Never Be Lonely

The Feeling

People in love they're fast and foolish
People in love get everything wrong
People in love get scared and stupid
People in love get everything wrong
At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
They'll never be lonely
B-b-b-baby
I think I'm going c-c-c-crazy
Why should I be sane without you (hahh)
They tell me to fight it
They can bloody well just try it
[ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
I'll never be the same without you (hahh)
People in love get special treatment
People in love get everything wrong
People in love their hearts get eaten
People in love get everything wrong
At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
They'll never be lonely
B-b-b-baby
I think I'm going c-c-c-crazy
And why should I be sane without you (hahh)
They tell me to fight it

Old Life

I left my former life in my old room.

I didn't know packing up would be that symbolic. But it was time to write finis to the past. "What is lost is lost," a French film said once.

Amongst the rubbish I unearthed a letter I had written in October 14th and 16th, 2004. They were my letters to P., where I wrote goodbye. (It really was a day before my birthday as I recalled).

But the words are dead now. Writing that, I remembered was the most difficult I ever had to do. I was torn between continuing and ending the relationship, then. But I had made the ultimate decision of leaving, which, in hindsight, would leave me with a little regret.

But the words have no meaning now, as probably the relationship does, right now. It was somehow a relief to have felt being so far removed from the memory when I saw the letters. I have made progress after all.

And the dead words must be burned. From ashes to ashes. From nothingness to nothingness. So I crumpled the letters, after reading them for the last time. I read every word, every sentence, every period and comma as though they were parts of an old map of a city I suddendly found myself in. But which I soon, too, must leave.

Outside, I burned those letters. Remembering all that was and had been, wishfully thinking that the memories would go up in smoke as well.

The past has held me hostage for too long. And I had thought I was ready.

I wished for someone very opposite to P. but ended up looking for someone like him.

"You broke his heart," PJ told me. At the back of my head I knew I did. I had explained it to M. why I did what I did, carefully not causing more pain that I had already.

I thought I knew what I wanted, now I don't know what it is I'm looking for.

"I've learned not to wish for anyone anymore," I texted PJ.

At 27, it is as if I'm just starting to discover who I am.

A Series of Fortunate Events

Me, third from left. Rova and her buddies were kind enough to invite us to a banana boat ride and a digital camera. Shot in Galera before one of those plunges hehehe.


So this is how crashing into the sea feels like.

I finally fulfilled my wish of going to the beach. A much-delayed birthday gift Went to Gale with G. and spent two days starting Monday.

Sunday, I was bone-tired from all the packing I did when I transferred homes. Didn't want to push through with the plan but thought I might not have another opportunity in the next few weeks. So despite nursing a backpain and being sleep-deprived, I hauled myself to the bus station at 8 a.m.

You could tell I was a little brain-dead (it was early, so don't blame me hehehe) because I boarded the bus to Lipa instead of Batangas Pier. But it wasn't my fault, the security guard told me the bus would go straight to the Pier. But I didn't want to get off the bus. The pier is some 30 minutes away to the Pier anyway.

There was some tall guy who was sitting two seats away on the opposite side who was kind enough to remind the driver that I would be getting off in Lipa where a bus to the pier would be available.

"Baba ka ng Lipa, 'no?" he asked me smiling.

"Yeah. Thanks," I said half-smiling. But I was wearing my shades so I didn't know if he saw I was happy that he helped somehow.

So that more than compensated for the snaffu.

But there was another one.

The boat we rode was supposed to bring us straight to White Beach but there were a few tourist on the trip we were on. Actually, two. Just me and G., and another local. So instead of getting off at White Beach we found ourselves on Muelle (pronounced Muyle by the locals).

The place looked like Olongapo because there were a lot of old, fat Caucasians.

"Dito pala nagbabakasyon si Santa Claus," G. said.

"Yeah. Before he distributes the gifts on Christmas," I retorted.

So from Muelle, we rode a tricycle to White Beach. Found a place at Mendeluke. Got a reasonably priced two-bed room. And hit the beach immediately.

I bought one of those tie-dyed shawls and laid it on the beach. Got two beers and dozed off. Yeah, I did. Like a power nap. If I had not woken, I would have been literally burned.

G., said there was a nicer beachfront at the bend, so we walked there. True the place was more serene but the problem was the sea was deep considering it was just a few meters away from the shoreline. So we ditched it and went back to the main beach.

I'll abbreviate this entry:
We tried snorkling from which I got jellyfish stings (shit, they still itch right now as I'm writing this) and banana-boat otherwise known as torture-yourself-and-paying-for-it-for-P130. Hehehehe. Made new friends (Rova et. al.). I hope she emails the pictures soon. Tehehee.