September 16,2005

Three years. That's how this post is. Dug it from my other blog to check my progress. Apparently, not very succesfully. 

Erased

Iyon na marahil ang pinakamalungkot na pag-iisang dibdib. Sa altar, solo akong humarap sa paring pagal. Nagmamadali pero hindi niya alam ang sasambitin.

"You may now kiss the bride?," sabi n'ya, palinga-linga.

"Trick question ba s'ya father?" tanong ko. Kung hawak ko lang ang bulaklak ay naihampas ko na sa kanya.

Walang bulaklak. At wala ring ibang tao sa simbahan. Dalawang kandila ang nakatirik sa magkabilang tabi ng pari. Pero para sa akin 'yon.

"So ano'ng gagawin ko sa 'yo?" naiinis na tanong ng pari.

"Hindi ko rin alam," ang nasabi ko na lang.

"Bumalik ka na lang 'pag may kasama ka nang babasbasan ko. May burol pa akong pupuntahan," pakiusap ng pari.

Tinitigan ko lang siya.

"Maghanap ka. Huwag 'yong magdadrama kang pupunta dito ng mag-isa," naiinis na niyang sabi habang sumulyap sa relo niyang ginto.

Tinitigan ko lang siya.

Tumitig lang siya pabalik.

Tiningnan ko lang siya ulit. Ang kanyang mga labi. Ang matang nagniningning at sing-itim ng aking dilim ng pangungulila. Ang kanyang makapal na pilikmata.

Dumausos ang aking titig sa leeg niyang may butlig butlig na pawis. Sa parte ng kanyang leeg kung saan nag-uugnay ang dibdib at leeg. Minsan na akong nakatulog doon.

Tumungo siya.

Muli, pilit ko siyang tiningnan.

Umatras siya. At naglakad palayo sa aking kinatatayuan. Inihatid ng aking pananaw ang paring tumalikod. Hanggang sa nagsara ang pintuan ng simbahan.

Dilim.

Paano ko sasabihin na pinakasalan ko na ang aking nakaraan. At nabiyuda na rin ako nito.

Pag-aari ako ng aking nakalipas

Reminder to Myself

Walk Away lyrics
What do you do when you know something's bad for you
And you still can't let go?

I was naive
Your love was like candy
Artificially sweet
I was deceived by the wrapping

Got caught in your web
And I learned how to plead
I was prey in your bed
And devoured completely

And it hurts my soul
Cos I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cos I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

I should have known
I was used for amusement
Couldn't see through the smog
It was all an illusion

Now I've been licking my wounds (licking my wounds)
Woke up in love and seems so great (deeper, deeper)
We both can't subdue
Darling you hold me prisoner (prisoner)

I'm about to break
I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your lure
and I'm feeling for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I can make it
It's some state I'm in
Getting nothing everytime
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this moment
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

Everytime I try to grasp for air
I get smothered and this sky, it's never over, over
Seems I never wake from this nightmare
I let out a solid breath, let it be over, over

Inside I'm screaming
Breaking, pleading the world
Ahh...

My heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true
Each peep reminds me of you

It hurts my soul
Cos I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cos I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I'm about to break
I guess I missed it
I'm addicted to your lure
And I'm feeling for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I can make it
It's some state I'm in
Getting nothing everytime
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this moment
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I say...
I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

Only thing I need to do is walk away

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

ARMM Elections Class Picture

Tomorrow we will walk with the people of the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao as they make history in voting in an automated elections. Whatever happens here will show the pathway to a nationwide, fully-automated elections in the country.

The Paths to Peace

Are we ready for an automated elections? 

The answer to this question will be known tomorrow, when the people of the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao or ARMM get out of their houses to take part in this historic elections - the first automated elections in our country. 

Maguindanao will use a technology which is called direct recording electronic election system or DRE. This technology will be the fastest in all of ARMM since the other areas will use the optical mark reader or OMR.

The difference between the two systems is that the DRE will have a voting pad where the names, faces and the positions being sought by a candidate. All a voter should do is press the name to vote for a certain candidate, much like getting a can of soda in a vendo machine. The COMELEC says a voter should be able to do it in less than 3 minutes. 

The OMR which will be used in areas like Lanao del Sur, Basilan, Sulu and Shariff Kabunsuan, still uses the ballot but unlike in previous elections where a voter should write, legibly, a candidates name, he or she now only has to shade a an oval which corresponds to a candidate's name. After voting comes a face of the "old" elections, the ballots from precints will have to be transported by the Board of Election Inspectors from the precints to Cotabato City, specifically at the Cotabato City Polytechnic College where the municipal and provincial counting and canvassing centers are located. 

There will be counting machines which will tally the votes from the "electronic ballot" which will be easier and relatively faster than what we're accustomed to when teachers would painstakingly record in "taras" the number of votes on the blackboard. 

All the election returns will be consolidated in a municipal canvass and then in a provincial canvass. The results of which will be transmitted online to the regional canvassing area which is in COMELEC-Manila. 

The results will be known almost simultaneously in ARMM areas and Manila. 

Tomorrow is a historic day for all of us and it's taking place amidst the tension between the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) and the government over the botched signing of the memorandum of agreement that would have paved the way for the creation of the Bangsamoro Juridical Entity (BJE).

If one takes a long hard look at these two events happening in Mindanao -- one can see a similarity: both the elections and the clamor for a BJE have one objective: representation; the right to be represented by a leader voted by the people in the case of the elections and the right to be represented as a people, unique with tradition, culture and history in the case of the BJE. 

These are two different but nonetheless intertwined paths to peace. 

We cannot take one at the expense of the other. 

The Path To Peace

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Alicia Keys!!!!!

Monoblocks notwithstanding, it was a great show. Looked like Alicia Keys enjoyed it too, she came back for two encores: "No One" and my ultimate favorite, "If I Ain't Got You."

In a segue to "A Woman's Worth," she said: "If you love someone, make sure he knows what you're worth."

True. 

Yipee

CAN'T WAIT :)