Blissful Hiss

Please come to the group exhibit entitled "Blissful Hiss" which a friend, Dada, invited me to participate. Punta kayo ha? :)

Happy Place

I've always been afraid of the past, preferring to leave it as I left it: questions unanswered, puzzles unsolved.

But I guess I was partly right to avoid it. It has, anyway, a way of coming back. Coming back and resolving itself.

Had a talk last Sunday morning (hmmmm I can relate to Maroon 5's "Sunday Morning" soooo much better hehehe) with P.

First off, past is past but it felt good to revisit it. In between bottles of beer (and pansit for him), while the early morning sun rose, we talked about what had happened between us.

There were, suffice it to say, issues within me that were resolved. Misconceptions, mostly mine, that were corrected. For the longest time, in a flashbulb moment, I've been living in one.

I have trust issues I told him.

And then he proceeded to ask why my last relationship didn't work out.

I refused to tell him (in my mind I knew what the answer was) and asked him instead if he were to be trusted that time.

Yes. He said. Never mind if that could have been more of a justification, an excuse.

Like the Sunday morning sun, a light shone on the deepest darkest corners of my mind.

And every thing became clear.

I saw myself as I used to be. I remembered how I was at a time when love was really love and was not a matter of convenience.

For the first time in several years, it felt that that person is never out of reach again.

I could be what I was before.

I am excited to meet my former self.

R.I.P

I was right in not loving you. 

There was a murmur in my heart and I instantly knew. It was too good to be true. 

Now I will not name, nor write about what has happened between us. I will not give you a name, a circumstance to dignify you. Let this be, a tiny tombstone that the months and years will cover with grass. I shall forget you sooner than the worms have eaten your cadaver in my mind. When we meet again, it will be as though nothing between us has existed.

Recede

Clenched Soul

We have lost even this twilight. No one saw us this evening hand in hand while the blue night dropped on the world. I have seen from my window the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops. Sometimes a piece of sun burned like a coin in my hand. I remembered you with my soul clenched in that sadness of mine that you know. Where were you then? Who else was there? Saying what? Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly when I am sad and feel you are far away? The book fell that always closed at twilight and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet. Always, always you recede through the evenings toward the twilight erasing statues.  Pablo Neruda

Tuesdays

I'm excited about watching "Tuesdays With Morrie" on December 2. Wasn't able to watch it when Repertory opened it last year because of an ex who had little interest in theater. Now I have my second chance at it and I'm not going to miss it.

I read the book some two or three years ago and I remember not going to work because I couldn't put it down and I was, uh, crying. I thought then that I needed to savor the wisdom and think long and hard about it in the comforts of my room. 

Now the time has come for "Morrie" to speak to me again. And the juncture is perfect. Some old man's wisdom to a, uh, kid in a quarter-life crisis. Hehehehehe.

Incidentally, my Dad Marcelito's nickname is Morrie. I don't know if subconsciously I'm seeing (or maybe wanting to see?) "Morrie" in my Morrie. (Morrie from the Mitch Albom book, "Tuesdays with Morrie", is a real Morrie- his college professor Morrie Schwartz).

Bought two tickets, delivered to my office at no extra cost (awesome Rep!). I think with this ticket delivery, we're seeing here some extra effort to promote theater in the Philippines and we should support it. Art is, after all, our nation's soul. 

So if you have the time, watch too.

F*ck Office 2008

I hate it when technology fails me. Today, I wanted to liquidate but when I opened MS Word and attempted to save a new file, it crashed. It wouldn't save. Instead it asked me to report the crash to Microsoft. Tried re-installing it via those help tips you find on the net and it's the fucking same thing. I wish I know what's completely wrong with it. Spent (more like wasted) half a day trying to figure it out but to no avail. I'm left with the same problem. 

Uh, help? 

Hehehe.

Letting Go

I've to learn to let go. I just got my newly framed graphite drawing and upon seeing it, I had second thoughts of selling it. I'm selfish. Hehehehe. Or maybe because that drawing is a part of me (my memories, my soul) and I don't want to let go. But I have to at one point right?

The picture on the left is of my acrylic painting entitled "Lovers". Feel free to contemplate :)

See you guys tomorrow during the artfair at the UP College of Fine Arts. 

No Regrets

Edith Piaf
NO REGRETS


No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
All the things
That went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
For the grief doesn't last
It is gone
I've forgotten the past

And the memories I had
I no longer desire
Both the good and the bad
I have flung in a fire
And I feel in my heart
That the seed has been sown
It is something quite new
It's like nothing I've known

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
All the things that went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
For the seed that is new
It's the love that is growing for you

Birthday Wishlist

(got the idea from Nerz ahehehee).

Well, let's visualize these for my birthday. Malay mo. Heheheh

1. external drive for my Mac

2. digital slr camera

3. a new earphone for my ipod nano

4. trip to batanes or palawan? 

5. oil paints (grumbacher or van gogh)

6. oil brush

7. canvass

8. a zara jacket

9. 4 gb flashdisk

10. speaker hahaha for my laptop 

simple lang naman mga pangarap ko sa buhay, Lord. 

Hehehehehe

Chocolate Kiss(es) To A Sem Well Spent

Invitation Opening Day

Invitation

The opening exhibit was a success. Thanks to those who came out to support us. Thanks to Sir Jonathan's dad, Sir Romulo Olazo, Dean Colayco, Sir Malto and all those who were there. 

My personal shout out to Gab and her pet toy Labry (Lavigne?) eehheehehe, Tina, Kara, Aubrey, Randy, Midas, Bebeng and Mike (congrats in advance on your wedding!), to Glenn (hmf :P), to Ron and Andra (beer pa new found friends ehehehehe) and to class Y! As Jo would say it, rakenrol! :) 

For those who were not able to come, I'm posting a jpeg version of the essay that accompanied the exhibit yesterday :) 

:P

The heart never forgets, however, it moves on. 

Survivor

I've always been a fan of the Survivor series and now we have our very own version. There's nothing compared to seeing our own undergo the challenges -- and the scheming! the scheming ... already there are a few characters that I'm beginning to hate (I think). But there's also one who I'm rooting for thus far: Zita. Was impressed, first night, naglala ng bubong galing sa dahon ng niyog ang Zita. Bigyan nyo lang ng lagari at pako yan, makakagawa na yan ng dampa ehehehehhee. 

Watch Survivor: Philippines daily at 9:30pm on GMA-7 (of course, where else?)

Really hoping this comes after 24 Oras but then that'd be too early for me. hehehehe

Punta Kayo

Art is a persistent muse. Sometimes she is a haunting ghost; she appears and grabs and 
possesses. 

In this debut group exhibit entitled "Invitation", fifteen artists, all in their first year in the 
UP College of Fine Arts, meet with the muse and present the product of this engagement. 
Forming the framework of this exhibit is the challenge to interpret the poem "The 
Invitation," a prose poem written in 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer who is an author of 
inspirational prose-poem and international best-selling books, The Invitation, The Dance 
and The Call: Discovering Why You Are Here. 

In accomplishing this task, each of the artists have to drawn on their knowledge and skills 
so far acquired and honed under the Visual Perception class under Thirteen Artists 
Awardee Jonathan Olazo. 

Perception is a crucial skill in tackling the challenge, specifically in this context and in art-
making in general; one poem but fifteen different ways of interpreting it, fifteen different 
ways of seeing the world. 

Fifteen different manifestations of the muse. 

Invitation runs from September 23-26, 2008 at the Corredor Gallery at the UP College of 
Fine Arts. The opening cocktails start at 6pm, September 23. 

Never Stop Dreaming

Hers came true for Charice.

Trial Sketches

This weekend is officially acad mode? Hehehehe. Doing another artwork for the exhibit. Need to get the plates done to free up two days. Exhibit is on the 23rd hehehe

Self ...

portrait. Dermatograph on black charcoal paper. 2008.

Oktoberfest in September

I. "facebooked" me and asked if Oktoberfest was meant for us, being both born in October, we'd like to think that the beerfest was scheduled for us. But we both, and we all do, know that it is not. But whatever.

A local beer company here in the Philippines have set up tradition and staged a similar feast.

I was lucky enough to cover the event last night in Pasig. A. was orignally scheduled to cover it. I didn't think I would go but I must admit I had planned on going despite having a work sched from 4-12mn ahehehehe. But A. fell ill and promptly the desk deployed me to replace her. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So there I was, I made it through the throng of people that lined up the street at the back of SM Megamll all the way through Julia Vargas St. and San Miguel Ave. where the main stage was set up.

Loved Rivermaya.

And Third Eye Blind.

Man, the last time I remember listening to their songs was when I was in early college. Good to hear their songs again (after being sidetracked to other music preferences in the years that followed).

The band debuted a new song, forgot the title but the first few melodies sounded a little bit like Maroon 5's "This Love" which I LIKE! hehehehe.

Will post photos soon. R. hijacked my cam to her weekend getaway. Dang. :(

Hehehe.

Summons

A really bad cold forced me to absent from work today which is not necessarily a bad thing because I have things to do for school. Our sem-ender group exhibit is scheduled on the 23rd and I've only finished one of two drawings (on 30x40 inch illustration board). 

I've been summoning the muse so to speak for the next drawing, short of lighting up incense and playing weird music (might actually do it hehehe), but she is nowhere to be found. I've done rough sketches and nothing is coming up. 

N. observes (and correctly so) that I write only when I'm on the extremes, either super depressed or super happy. The same could be said about drawings. There was a time when I filled canvass after canvass. This was in March when I have just broken up with J. 

This time, it's different which could mean that I'm neither sad nor happy. 

Or maybe empty?