Valentine's Day

Originally posted on Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The News

His death could not be any more charateristically discreet.On Valentine's Day, he slipped from this world to the great beyond leaving us all in shock, in disbelief, or just plain numb depending on who we're talking about.

On that morning, February 2005, as my Mom would later recall, she woke up like any other mornings. Got up and fixed my Dad his breakfast. She had thought that my Dad was just sleeping although it had been his habit to wake up hours ahead of Mom. She called him to breakfast. No reply. And then another. Still no reply. Mom rushed to their room, tried to awaken him, shook him wildly but to no avail. She held his hands, they were still warm but when she listened to his heartbeat, she knew that she has lost her partner for 25 years. Just like that, with nary a notice of his passing or a foreboding. My Mom would later tell us that if there was one regret, it was that she wasn't able to talk to him.

I was in Quezon City when it happened. A cousin broke the news via SMS: "'toy, wag kang mabibigla. wala na ang daddy mo. indi na cia nagising."I was dumbfounded, overwhelmed by a surge of emotions.

For minutes, I just sat on my bed motionless. I lit a cigarrette hoping it would help me absorb the intensity of the news."Ano'ng oras ko uuwi?" a second text came.I decided to call Ate Teena."Kumusta d'yan?" I asked. "Sino kasama ni Mommy?""Andun na sina Ate Glo, Ate Mila sa bahay n'yo," she informed me.I called home. Maila, a cousin answered."Si Mommy?" I inquired."Eto ... sandali," she said."JT, wala na si Daddy ...." Mom said in between anguished sobs.I couldn' t bear hearing my Mom's sorrow so I hung up. "Uuwi na ako."

The Long Journey Home

For minutes, I couldn't bring myself to get up from bed. I sat there motionless sifting through the emotions. I knew this was going to happen. But not this soon. I hated him when I was a kid so I should be okay. How about my mom? Ano kaya nangyari? What did she feel when she discovered that he was dead? Si Jonjie? Does he know already? Again, I tried to find solace in my cigarettes. I had wanted to sleep, hoping it was a dream. I did not want to go home. I didn't want to find out that it was, indeed, real.

I received the news at around 7 am. It wasn't until after 12 nn that I decided that I have to go home. Death is inevitable. My father's time has come. There's no use suspending the reality of his death.